Panchu vandhuttan

Today, I lost one of my dearest uncles, my mom’s brother, Panchapakesan, “Panchu mama”. 

Panchu mama was a favorite uncle of the family, energetic, fun, and helpful. As I reflect on his life and my association with him, I realize how much of an impact he has had on me and the lessons I can learn from him

Paropakari. Yes! That is the Tamil word that comes to mind when I think of him. Many traits distinguished him, but none more than his willingness to help others. Mama gave what he had –  he got things for people with no differentiation between his own and others’. Till the time he was active and healthy, he rendered so much help to all, being with them in good and bad times, more so during the latter. Whenever we needed help, a source of courage, moral support, advice, and assistance of any kind, we used to reach out to him. Be it marriage, illness, admissions to colleges, mama was always there. His sheer presence made one feel that things will be taken care of. Add to it his sharp mind that could come up with creative ideas, you have someone who gave so much to others

Mama was always fun to be with. He loved children and we thoroughly enjoyed his company. Be it getting us things we enjoyed having, his jovial nature, his ability to set aside stature and hierarchy, you felt so joyous and comfortable in his presence. My first memory of him was my visit and stay at his house in Irumbuliyur, Tambaram, when I was a toddler still. I requested him to get me a plastic bucket to store salt (how funny it sounds now!) and used to bug him everyday upon his return from office. He did not disappoint and got me a green-colored bucket (my favorite color) with large black, floral designs. We had it with us for a very long time. He took my sister and I to his place in Mambalam when my mom had a serious health condition and cared for us so well such that we do not get bogged down by our situation. During my teens, when I used to fall ill quite often, he used to accompany my father and I to various hospitals. As late as a few years ago, even after his coronary bypass surgery, he was with me when my father underwent cataract surgery. I can go on and on and on

He made everyone feel so welcome. In mama’s house, nothing was out of access – he made us feel as if it’s our own house, open to anyone to have anything. I vividly remember the sack full of mangoes that he once got, which all of us children enjoyed over weeks and months. He got cable tv connection in his house, for all of us children to watch cricket matches. I so fondly recollect the India-South Africa series, the India-West Indies series, and the many more games that we have watched together as family at his place. Whenever there was an important match, we used to troop down to his house and have fun. Only a very noble soul can do so much for others, without a sense of differentiation or discrimination

Mama got exposed to the harsh realities of life very early on. He started work in his late teens to support his family. This built in him an extraordinary knack to solve problems and face any difficulties with courage. “Panchu vandhuttan”, “Panchu has arrived”, was often a sigh of relief, courage, and comfort, all at once. He was often equated to Lord Hanuman, a man for all seasons!

As I reflect on his life and my association with him, I realize how important it is to be of help to others, to embrace and make everyone feel welcome, to be a source of joy and stand by your people when they need you

Namaskaram mama! You were a proof that it is possible to live a life, more for others than for your own. You were a Degree on life that I received. I pray to the almighty for your final, peaceful onward journey