Meditative Ecstasy at Denkanikotta

Denkanikotta is a small town near Hosur, about two hours’ drive from Bangalore. It is most famous for two temples – the Baytarayana swamy temple and the Narasimha swamy temple.

I first visited the Narasimha swamy temple, which is up a small hillock some 7/8 years back and quietly forgot about it. The next opportunity to visit the temple happened a few months back. I went there with my parents and relatives. The peace and quiet of the place struck me. After the customary darshan (the main sanctum sanctorum is inside a small cave, where one has to really crawl and reach) we came out and circumambulated the peepal tree. The view of the horizon from the place is simply breathtaking – hills, lush green fields with very little human contamination. I very much wanted to sit there and meditate but keeping so many relatives waiting for me didn’t sound right or feasible, leave aside the fact that meditation in such places is best done in solitude. So I returned, but was very sure I would be back.

The next opportunity came last Sunday and I made the most of it. I reached the temple from my cousin’s place in Hosur by around 10.15 am. After a good darshan and archana, I sat just outside the sanctum sanctorum in meditation for close to an hour-and-a-half. Despite so many visitors, I had quite a good spell of meditation. Close to noon, I had to leave the place as the temple was to be closed. I came out and headed to the peepal tree. Luckily, behind the tree are a few steps where one can comfortable sit. The best part about this place is that it overlooks the horizon, with hills, farms and everything natural around. I used it for my next spell of meditation. It is an experience I have never had before! Firstly, my body was absolutely still. An on-and-off practitioner of meditation since 2003, I have never felt my body so motionless. There was complete stillness, barring the occasional niggle or nerve pull due to cramping. I tried the meditation technique that Bhagwan Sri Ramana Maharshi advocates – to ask the question who am I? When you do so, the first realization is who itself is asking this question. The key is – this questioning does not happen at a verbal level – you do not “talk” these words to yourself as any self-talk is. Instead, you raise these questions “existentially”. While I did so, I also got the answer from within (again non-verbally) that I am not the body. There was clearly a separation between the body and I. The “I” increasingly appeared like a screen behind, able to clearly identify the body as not itself. I reached stages when the body did not even seem to exist. The only occasions when it did were when there was an occasional niggle here or a nerve pull there. Even when these happened, it was clear that it wasn’t happening to “I” as I normally consider myself. The correct statement to make was not – “I have pain”, instead, “there is pain”. Yes! There was pain and the pain had no impact on “me” whatsoever. It wasn’t any kind of sedation, rather a very alive recognition of the niggle or nerve pull. Just that it wasn’t happening to "me". It just was happening. While this realization of I am not the body was occurring, a gentle breeze blew and I could feel the joyous sensation in the skin. That is when a flash of realization happened – that even though I am not the body, it is only through the body that I can experience the world. It is nature’s kindness that it has given us this body with which we can enjoy its brilliant creations.

After about 45 minutes of ecstatic meditation, I opened my eyes to further ecstasy. I saw the horizon and this time it was clearer that it was not the body which was seeing. In fact, when we see (or for that matter undergo any experience), there is an in-built sense of an entity that sees. It is a concoction of our body and what we think to be ourselves, which let me call as “I”. The experience is mixed up with this “I” and leads to all kinds of reactions – passion, anger, happiness, etc. The “I” is very much entwined, mixed up and is part of the experience, shall I say, involved. However, this time, it was absolutely clear that it was not this “I” which was experiencing. The body was there, the eyes were there, but the one seeing was, again, a “screen behind”, a different I. This “I” was neutral to what was being seen. The experience did not create any reaction, even though the seeing and the sight were very much alive, as in, it was not lack of interest which led to this non-reaction. In fact, “I” was neither interested nor uninterested in the seeing. It just was seeing, rather, witnessing. I had a strong realization that this “I” is what I am. While all this happened, this “I” could clearly identify the body and also realized that it is like a telescope, an instrument to experience the world not the one experiencing it. I vividly remember the greenery I saw in front of me and this seeing was clearly different from anything else I have seen before. I also realized that there is no clear point of switch over from the “I” that is seeing and what is being seen, rather it’s a continuum.

I then came down from the hill in my car and had the residue of the experience for about 15-20 minutes. While driving the car, again there was no “I”. Normally, when a person crosses the road while we are driving, “we” respond and react. Our sense of who we are (the “I” again) is very much involved in this process. In fact it is this “I” that is reacting and responding (or so we think). But this time, this “I” was absent. Yes, I was driving the car and was doing everything that I usually do – shifting gears, applying breaks, swerving, et al. But this time, I was not involved in it. And there was absolutely no tension, no nervousness, in fact no inner reactions to anything happening on the road. It was as if the car was being driven. Yes! The car was being driven.

As I motored along, the residue slowly winded down and ultimately vanished. The “I” once again became the “I”. But the experience left a lasting impression.